True Confessions

I often wonder what goes on behind closed doors in the office. For instance, what are people doing when no one is watching? It's quite comical to envision a big CEO picking his nose, or flexing in the reflection in the window.

I confess, I have one or two quirks of my own. Before I tell you what I do, I want to put a disclaimer here saying that I am not some kind of freak. Something just happens when you know no one is watching - no matter how sane you may be. Ok, well... when I get in the office in the morning and no on is in, the lights are off. I turn on the first light switch and watch the fluorescent lights flicker on in succession of one another. Then, I walk to another set of light switch panels. (This is where is starts to get weird, so if you plan on judging me, please stop reading now.) When I get to the light switch, I look around the room just in case someone had stayed the night in their cube. My head turns to the front door to make sure no one is walking in behind me, and I clear my throat. "Chhhh, Huston?" I say, "Huston are you there? We're all ready to go", and my throat gurgles like a fuzzy transmission. And then, I slowly flick on the light switches, one after another counting down as I go. "Three...two... one...". Then, as if nothing had happened, I sit in my cubicle.

I don't know what happens to me in those moments when no on is watching, but I know that I am caught up in a different reality, as if I was a kid again. I don't know why it happens, but every morning its the same thing. It's an escape from reality, maybe something that happens more often than not.

So i wonder. How often does this stuff happen and never gets noticed? And, what would happen if we had no conscience to stop us from following through with the urges that arise during the day?

All I know is that that small moment in the morning is the best part of my day.